


50 Shades and Candy Cravings

by FirefliesFlash



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Gen, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-13
Updated: 2014-11-13
Packaged: 2018-02-25 06:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2611760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FirefliesFlash/pseuds/FirefliesFlash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One-shot written for Annber03. Craving candy on his lunch break, Reid pays a visit to Garcia only to discover J.J. and her indulging in a certain erotic novel. Slight crack-fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	50 Shades and Candy Cravings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Annber03](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annber03/gifts).



Dr. Spencer Reid sat at his mahogany desk in the bullpen of the BAU, poring over the paperwork from the latest case. He reached for his cup of coffee when he realized it was empty. He stood up from his black leather swivel chair and stepped into the break room. His stomach growled fiercely as he poured himself his fifth cup of the day. He glanced at his watch. It was almost noon. He decided he would go ahead and take his lunch break. He went back over to his desk, grabbed his messenger bag, slinging it across him, before heading the cafeteria. He bought himself a sandwich and went back to his desk to finish what seemed like an ever-growing stack of files. He had a nagging suspicion that Morgan had slipped him some of his files while he had been in the cafeteria. He took a bite of his sandwich, glancing around the bullpen. Most everyone had gone to lunch. J.J. stepped out of her office carrying a lunch box and book under her arm. She quickly turned the corner and stepped into Garcia’s lair. He finished his sandwich and three case files when he suddenly began craving something sweet. Garcia always kept candy in her office. He decided to pay her a visit. Before he could knock on the door, he heard giggling coming from the two women.

“‘ _I want you sore baby,’ he murmurs and he continues his sweet, leisurely torment, backward, forward_ ,” J.J. stated. " _'_ _Every time you move tomorrow, I want you to be reminded that I’ve been here. Only me. You are mine.’ I groan_ ,” J.J. said. _Oh my God. What are they reading?_   He felt his face flush in absolute embarrassment.

“ _‘Please, Christian,” I whisper. “What do you want, Anastasia? Tell me.” I groan again. He pulls out and moves slowly back into me, circling his hips once more,”_ J.J. continued.

“Oh jinkies! That is so hot!” Garcia exclaimed with another giggle. As he turned around to leave, his face as red as a ripe tomato, he collided with Morgan.

“Kid, what’s the matter?” Morgan asked, looking concerned.

“Um, uh, um, it’s nothing,” Spencer said. “N-Nothing at all.” He returned to his desk, face aflame, and began to finish his paperwork.

“You’ve discovered Fifty Shades, haven’t you?” Morgan asked suddenly, surprising him.

“Excuse me?”

“The book Garcia and J.J. were reading. Fifty Shades of Grey.”

“That’s what that was?” he asked.

“It’s an erotic fiction novel. The characters are based on characters from the book Twilight.” He furrowed his eyebrows. He had read Twilight after J.J. had mentioned it to him. It was a horribly written novel, but he supposed he could understand why so many women enjoyed it.

“How do you know so much about it?” he asked curiously. _Please don’t tell me Morgan likes this._

 “Savannah owns all three of the books. One day I was bored and I read the first few chapters.” He shrugged simply before clapping a hand on Reid’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, Pretty Boy. Many other men have been traumatized by that book too.”

“I’m not traumatized!” He exclaimed, blushing again as Morgan left his desk and returned to his own. J.J. left Garcia’s office, her lunchbox and the book under her arm. He returned to his paperwork, his craving for candy suddenly gone.


End file.
